31 Jul My thoughts on happiness that will help you lose weight.
It took me over 6 months to get my first real job after I finished Masters at University.
No, fitness wasn’t my original career path.
I thought having two degrees plus a Masters would help me get a job tomorrow.
Application after application turned into rejection after rejection.
With each rejection I felt more and more disappointed.
I didn’t give up though. I expected to get something as long as I kept trying.
Finally I did.
It happened when I least expected it. When I had let go of the idea that I’d get a job tomorrow. I didn’t even try to make my application perfect. I literally wrote a letter saying how much I hated rules and the norms of society… in context to the position of course.
What’s the point of this story?
It can be summed up by 5 words:
“Attach to nothing. Expect everything”
Embodying this will help you be happier and will also help you lose weight.
Attach to Nothing
Attachment can be to any outcome. It can also be to a person or thing. It’s when you want something so badly that you put your happiness on hold until you get it.
“I’ll be happy when…”
You believe that once you get that thing or achieve that outcome, everything will be better.
That’s not the case. Once you get to the destination, there’ll be something else you want.
You’ll go back to feeling frustrated, sad and disappointed… chasing the future and not appreciating the present.
That’s what happens when you attach your worth or happiness to something.
Attaching a timeline to the outcome makes it worse. You get anxious that it’s not happening fast enough. You feel like you’re not good enough, it’ll never work for you, and get more upset.
For example, you might be attached to a number on the scale. Your goal is to weigh a certain number that you think will get you the body of your dreams. You weigh yourself every day in anticipation. The days where the number is closer to that magic number are good days. You’re happy because you feel closer to your goal. The days where the scale is not moving are bad days and you’re upset.
Eventually you might get to that number. For a second you’ll be happy to see it.
But you’ll probably find that your body doesn’t look how you thought it would.
Then you go and make a new goal, chasing a new number or thing and repeat the process.
Attaching to a number on the scale will make you miss other forms of progress that aren’t reflected on the scale. This will make it harder to stay consistent and you might even give up too soon.
Attaching to that number on the scale will also limit you- what if you could achieve an even better body but your weight stayed higher than you wanted?
I’m not saying don’t make goals or have ideas in your head of what you want. That’s where we get to part 2… expect everything.
Now when I say expect everything I don’t mean you should expect the world to be handed to you whilst you sit on your ass and do nothing.
What I mean is that you need to believe in yourself.
You need to have high expectations of yourself.
And you need to keep working towards everything you expect to happen.
Expect, believe, work, receive.
Expecting everything comes down to having clear intentions for what you want.
But that’s it. You need to know WHAT.
Don’t go putting timeframes on things.
Don’t go trying to plan HOW it’s going to happen.
Leave that up to the universe.
You have to know what you want but then let go of how and when it will happen.
Keep acting with intent. Keep believing. Don’t give up.
It’ll happen WHEN it’s meant to and HOW it’s meant to.
You have to expect the best but then let go of the outcome. If you attach to what you expected, and it doesn’t happen asap, you’ll get frustrated. You’ll probably give up too soon, stop working towards it and never get there.
One last thing on expectations… You have to have these expectations for yourself and not for others. You can’t expect someone to be nice back to you just because you bought them dinner.
You can’t control other people’s desires or actions, only your own.
Expect the best for yourself but don’t expect anything from anyone else.
I’m adding a part 3…
Know what you want, take action and believe you’ll achieve the outcome.
Then let go. Don’t attach. Instead focus on the present moment and what you can be grateful for.
No matter what you have, you can always find something in each moment to be grateful for. It might be harder in some situations but the more you practise, the easier it will be to find gratitude.
This is how you create happiness in your life. I know it sounds kinda lame, but it actually works.
Happiness comes from within and from the present moment… Not from someone else, not from a number on the scale and not from food, fancy clothes or any other object.
Moments matter most, not things. Stop looking for happiness from other sources and learn to create it for yourself.
Just because something isn’t happening how you think it should doesn’t mean its not happening.
If you expect an outcome but remain unattached, you become limitless. You become happier because you learn to see the progress you’ve made and you’ll likely stay consistent and achieve even more than you thought possible.
Ps. This quote, “Attach to nothing, expect everything”, was from a course I did by Brian Grasso and Carrie Campbell. They are super expert on mindset stuff and their system is amazing. I have so much respect for them and the work they do!